it's all fun and games until someone poos on the bathroom floor

In the wake of Bailey passing, life goes on.  I'm not sure Teddy even remembers her; he's too young.  Nonetheless, we won't forget her and he can look at pictures!

In Oliver's world, we transitioned him to a crib a mere week after he started sleeping through the night; this was possibly a mistake on our part.  He started waking himself up (probably by flailing about in his huge new bed) and once he was up, I'd give him a bottle.  This went on for about two weeks before I stuffed him back in the Rock n' Play, where he's been sleeping soundly for 8-10 hour stretches.  Eventually he's going to grow out of the darn thing, but I swear, until he can crawl out of it himself, he's staying in there.  It may not be the "safe sleep environment" that the home nurse talked about when we came home from the hospital, but I feel he's safe and he and I both sleep way better.

Oliver has discovered his hands and very recently, his feet.  He coos and smiles all the time (except when he's crying, which thankfully is more rare than his brother's tears, both past and present). He can grasp toys (on purpose) and brings them to his mouth.  He kicks his feet voraciously sometimes which never fails to make me laugh.  In our double bath last night, he was kicking so fiercely that I was cracking up.

Oliver had his first course of antibiotics this past week because of an infection in his finger of all places.  Apparently, by putting his hands in his mouth he can cause an infection in his nail bed due to cracks in his cuticles.  It caused a big red blister between his nail and top knuckle.  The antibiotics are over today and his finger looks much better!






As far as Teddy's world goes, we've been practicing using the potty.  I prefer the seat on the big toilet because he can't get off easily.  When I tried to put him on the little potty, he just jumped right back up and got mad at me when I tried to hold him down.  I don't want it to be a negative experience, so I didn't push it.  He's peed many times on the big toilet and I've managed to catch one poo in there, simply because I was fast enough when he was diaperless in the bathroom.  It was more luck on my part because later that night we tried the same thing.  I knew he had to poo but wouldn't do it while seated on the potty.  I let him play in the bathroom without a diaper and while his bum was facing away from me and he was examining the hairdryer I heard a little grunt and it was all over.  On the bathroom floor.  Oh well.  Accidents are going to happen.

He's working on his vocabulary but I think I'm the only one who understands him.  I translate for Ed so he knows what Teddy's saying, though sometimes I don't even know.  For those who might try to hold  a conversation with Teddy, here are some translations:

Pee-uh:  please.  Sometimes he says pees or peesh.

Tattoo: thank you.  Basically if it starts with a sort of T-sound and ends in OO, it's thank you.  He uses this along with pee-uh if he wants something.  He uses it correctly sometimes.

Go: go. He first used this word when I was getting us all situated in a shopping cart.  He said, "Go!" very forcefully and I obeyed, mostly because I was so surprised to hear him issue a command.

Nown: down.  Used when he wants to get out of a high chair or off a toilet.

Ree: read.  He'll often bring you a book to help with the deciphering of his speech.

Ball: ball.  This was his first word.

Baba: cup of milk or water or water-juice.

Ba:  as far as I can tell this means blocks or box, anything vaguely cube shaped.

Ha ha ha: hot.  I always say, "Hot hot hot!" obviously when something is hot.

Boggie: doggie.  Alternatively he may say, "Woo."

He also says mama and dada, asking, "Ah dada?" or, "Ah mama?" if he wants to know where the other is.  He holds his hands palms up to reinforce the question.He says his name.  He also repeats words, or approximations of words.  He responds to commands (when he wants to), like, "Bring me (insert object here)."  This morning he was playing with his farm animals and I asked him which one goes, "Mooooooo!" and he handed me the cow.  I was pretty amazed, so I asked which one goes, "Bock, bock, bock!" (or however you spell it) and he handed me the chicken!  I think he might know the color blue, possibly more because of the Big Bird color book.

These are the areas in which he is advanced, as far as I know.  An area where he is not very advanced is in the tooth-growing arena.  He got his first two teeth at seven months and then didn't get any more for about six more months.  He now has six (well five and a half).  He started drooling at three months and never stopped.  He drips like a leaky faucet and I'm halfway convinced he might continue until college.

Teddy is strong-willed and very clear in his desires.  He cries or whines a lot if he doesn't get his way.  We've been treated to a few extremely dramatic displays which include throwing himself on the floor and crying.  I ignore him and let him have his moment and it's generally over quickly.  Luckily, Oliver is as laid-back and sweet as Teddy is obstinate!  Hopefully he will remain that way into his twos and threes (or heck, ones).

This got long, so I'll now insert some pictures to make it more entertaining!

Goodbye sweet Bailey

We spent a little over a week taking care of Bailey because of her coonhound paralysis.  For a few days she seemed to be getting better, sitting up on her elbows and pulling herself out of the bed.  Then it seemed she got weaker and she wouldn't eat very well, nor drink.  On Saturday night I spoon fed her canned food and then squirted water in her mouth from a squirt bottle.

We went to bed and when Ed got up at 4am to feed Oliver, he noticed Bailey's bed was wet.  After he put Oliver back down, he went to clean Bailey up and noticed she wasn't moving at all.  She had passed, not that long ago because she was still warm.  He came to get me and told me he thought she was dead.  We went out and I sat down with her and petted her.

It doesn't seem like she should be gone.  I feel like when we get home, she will be there waiting to greet us.  She was such a sweet dog and so patient with Teddy.  All she ever wanted in life was attention.  As long as someone was touching her, she was good.



We love you Bailey and we miss you so much!

Three months of Ollie

Oliver's Progress Report:  3 Months

Oliver is such a sweet baby.  He really doesn't cry unless he's hungry.  He might get a little fussy when he's tired, but other than that he is so sweet.  He's been sleeping through the night for a while now.  He will go seven to nine hour stretches then wake up to eat and often go right back to sleep for a while.  We're about to transition him to his crib, so that might be interesting!  Right now he's crammed into the spare room in the rock n' play, but little by little I've cleaned it out so we can put a crib up.  We moved the glider into his room, so that's nice for feeding and soothing.

Ollie doesn't have complete control of his big head yet, but it's getting better!  Soon he'll be sitting up in the bumbo and watching his crazy brother!

Speaking of his crazy brother, Teddy is SO helpful.  He brings me pacifiers and smacks his lips to tell me what you're supposed to do with it, sometimes trying to stick it in the baby's mouth.  Two nights ago he grabbed the bottle off of the table, and instead of trying to drink it like normal, he was caught shoving it in Oliver's face, while Ollie seemed a little nonplussed.  Last night Ed called out, "Teddy's sitting on the baby!" and I ran into the room and Teddy was indeed sitting on Oliver who was propped in the boppy.  The funny thing was, Oliver didn't seem to care about this at all.  During a diaper change, Teddy poked at Oliver's diaper and said, "Pee pee!"  So helpful!

He really hated the Santa hat...

Teddy being SO helpful!

Bailey

On Sunday of last week I noticed Bailey acted a little stiff in the hips.  She had some trouble squatting to pee.  Her breed is known for hip dysplasia, but we didn't think it would strike instantly and at only eight years old.  By Monday I went to let her out and she couldn't stand up; her legs were scrambling for purchase on the slippery tile so I hefted her up but she wouldn't go outside.  At lunch Ed carried her out to pee and she flopped down on her belly.  Her legs wouldn't support her.  She didn't eat or drink anything on Monday or Tuesday, so we took her to the vet.

The vet was baffled as to what was going on.  There were several things that it could be including tick paralysis, toxin ingestion, myasthenia gravis or botulism from eating a dead animal.  They did some blood work and it came back fantastic.  We left her overnight (and two subsequent nights) for IV fluids, steroid injection and antibiotics thinking that these things would help some of the possible causes.  Bailey, however, only got worse.  She's not completely paralyzed but she has no strength in her legs and can only lift her head, but not hold it up for any length of time.

On Thursday, Ed and I went to visit her and talk to the vet again.  At this point we weren't sure what to do because we didn't have money for expensive testing and the next step would be referral to a neurologist.  We said we couldn't afford that and we were going to give her one more day to improve and then make a decision.  Our vet went above and beyond and called the neurologist and did an exam over the phone with her.  Together they came up with the diagnosis of coonhound paralysis (the real name is polyridiculoneuritis), which is a disease that half the time seems to come from contact with a raccoon and half the time is idiopathic, or they just don't know what causes it.  The good news is she can fully recover.  The bad news is, it could take up to four months.

At this point we had to decide if we could take on her care at home with two babies.  She can't go outside to use the bathroom, so we would be cleaning up her mess.  We would have to make sure she could eat and drink enough, possibly having to hand feed her.

She's been such a good (if high maintenance) dog, so we decided to bring her home and try to care for her.  We had her shaved for easier cleaning.  We have her on a thick pile of blankets and bedding which is covered with a waterproof tablecloth and over that we put towels and a potty training pad.  We have to turn her several times a day and offer her food and water multiple times as well, not to mention clean her.  Poor Bailey.  I just know she's so confused.

 
A big thanks to the staff at Forest Oaks Animal Hospital. They were really great throughout all of this!

four types of posts that are seriously annoying

Social media is a great invention.  If you wonder what ever happened to so-and-so, all you have to do is type their name into the search bar of your social media site of choice and nine times out of ten, voila! You have a thumbnail sketch of their life, with pictures.  You can get up-to-date articles that like-minded friends have linked.  You can get information on things happening locally, i.e. family friendly events.

There are, however, a few types of posts that drive me up a wall.  These posts are like nails on a chalkboard to me and I scroll quickly past most times.  Sometimes I get sucked in and those are the times I think that I waste too much time online.  Here are a few of these posts in ascending order of annoyance:

The "When I was a kid..." posts
I'm sure you've seen them - "My curfew was lightning bugs; my parents didn't call my cell, they called my name; the TV was my babysitter; Cheetos were a well balanced snack."  Ok.  That's great.  But things are different now.  Cell phones make it easier to keep track of kids old enough to own one.  We know more about nutrition now, or maybe more people are concerned about it.  Likewise the benefits of limiting screen time.

Sales posts
I'm not trying to denigrate anyone who chooses to earn money for their family by participating in the pyramid schemes that are work at home sales jobs.  I just know those opportunities are not right for me.  I don't have the personality for sales and I'm probably too broke to buy your stuff, so constantly seeing these posts on my newsfeed is a tad irritating.

Political rants
There is only one thing more maddening to me than political rants on social media (and that's something we'll come to).  Nothing shows ignorance faster than half researched political diatribe and nevertheless remaining staunchly unbending in their ideals despite proof to the contrary.  Even well researched and eloquent political commentary is annoying because it brings out the ignorance of their fellow commenters.

This brings me to:

Conspiracy theory posts
These are possibly the most annoying, irritating, simply ridiculous things anyone can post.  Sandy Hook was a government conspiracy for gun control; this woman is a crisis actor who's shown up in Sandy Hook, Aurora, the Boston Marathon and now Paris; global warming is a hoax; vaccines cause autism.  These conspiracy theorists demean the victims of such horrific events and harm the united front that occurs after such happenings.

Basically, if it's not a funny cat video or silly toddler story, I don't want to see it.  I like pictures of your kids and pets, photos of major events in your lives, and stories of same.  But lose the minion memes.

Christmas letter (wish I was writing to Santa)

Christmas time is often a time of reflection of the year past.  Some people choose to pen a letter to include with their Christmas cards, chronicling their family's exploits throughout the past year.  This is my Christmas letter.

The Mearnses have certainly been busy this year.  February saw us pregnant with a six month old, which to some may have seemed impetuous.  How were we to know that after it took two years to get Teddy Bear it would be ten months from initial thought to full grown baby this time around?

I made the decision to stay at home for a while with the boys.  It was awesome to be able to spend the months before Oliver was born with Teddy.  Teddy changed so much this past year - it's really amazing to think he's only 16 months old right now and exactly one year ago, he couldn't sit up or crawl.  Now he's walking (running), talking, signing, communicating, playing independently, dancing, eating human food and exerting his will.  He's smart; he understands so much more than you realize.  He is a joy to be around, happy most of the time.  He loves to read books and play drums with Uncle D.  I can't wait to see what he has in store for us the coming year!

Oliver made his way into the world three and a half weeks early (according to the due date my doctor had established).  He spent four nights in the NICU due to glucose issues and came home from the hospital two days after I did.  In the nine weeks he has been with us, he's already changed so much.  He's losing that newborn look and entering chubby baby phase.  He's sleeping 5-6 hour stretches at night.  This next year will be spent watching him grow and change like Teddy did this past year.

Ed's working hard as always.  I know he wishes he could spend more time at home, both with the boys and completing various projects he dreams up.  He's currently working on mulching all the leaves in the world as well as burning various piles of brush.  He planted our paw paw trees recently as well as a fig tree.  Our garden this year was much more fruitful, due mostly to Ed's hard work in preparing the area.  (Moving it to a slightly sunnier location may have helped too.)

The extended Mearnses/Bronsons seem to be faring well this year.  The Wileys have seen the addition of two more grandsons, Oliver and sweet Landon.  The Wileys have moved to NC, to be closer to their grandsons.

Finally, here I sit, full time mother, haphazard housekeeper, writing various blog posts and trying to figure out how to earn money from home, through writing or...  suggestions welcome.  (Unless it's sales.  No sales.)

maternity leave woes

When I went back to work after I had Teddy, I knew it would be hard to leave him.  I almost wanted to pay for daycare just so I could bring him to work with me and visit on my lunch break.  It would have been silly though since he had a wonderful grandmother that would watch him for me, and having raised five kids of her own, I knew he couldn't be in better hands.  I didn't last long full-time, however.  I missed Teddy and mostly I was TIRED.  It made me sad that I wished for him to nap as soon as we got home so I could rest after work.  I only had a precious few hours with him during the week and I wished some of it away so I could rest?  How selfish was that?

I was able to go part-time shortly after I had returned full time.  I purchased a ridiculously high (although I've seen higher) private health care plan for me and Teddy so I could stay home with him more.  For other reasons that I won't go into here, I left my job a couple months after that.  My thoughts were that I could stay home for a while and look for a job closer to home, maybe part-time, and my commute wouldn't be so long, eating into my already short time with him.  Then I got pregnant again and all that went out the window.

Now I feel stuck.  I enjoy being home with the boys, but I would like to earn some money to contribute and help us get out of the debt that our healthcare costs put us in this year.  Keeping a young toddler and newborn is hard work that I wouldn't ask anyone to do for free, not even family!  Daycare for a part-timer is not very financially feasible.  So what to do?

This is leading me into the main reason for my post.

If our country had better maternity leave options, I might be in a better position.  If we'd had a year or six months of paid leave (or even partially paid leave) like many other countries in the developed world, including most countries in Europe, I would have retained my health insurance and not be in the financial position I am now.  Finland mandates 167 weeks of paid maternity leave (this boggles my mind), England 39 weeks, France 42, Italy 47, Germany 57.  Our Canadian neighbors receive 50 weeks paid leave.  Heck, even Mexico gets 12! ***

(Aside: I must state that getting pregnant again so soon would not have helped my cause.  I couldn't in good conscience return to work knowing that in nine months I'd be leaving again!)

I read this heartbreaking blog post in the NY Times parenting blog and must include that the author is in no way placing blame on the daycare in question, nor her company specifically, but on our flawed system.

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/11/15/a-baby-dies-at-day-care-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon/?&version=Blog+Main&_r=0&module=ArrowsNav&contentCollection=U.S.&action=keypress&region=FixedLeft&pgtype=Blogs

***Source: Buzzfeed http://www.buzzfeed.com/laraparker/this-is-what-paid-maternity-leave-looks-like-around-the-worl#.piZlDPzYp)