I didn't expect to go skipping back to work with barely a wave and a, "Bye Ted!" I kind of figured it wouldn't be easy. I didn't think it would be so difficult. For three months Teddy and I lived in each other's pockets. For three months I was rarely away from him. For three months I looked forward to bedtime because he cried for several hours every evening. Now I miss him when I put him to bed. I get sad thinking that I'll only see him for a few minutes in the morning when I drop him off and I have to wait nine more hours to see him again. One morning I knew Ed was going to do the drop off because I wanted to get to work early as I knew it would be a long day. I cried the night before after I put him to bed because I wouldn't see him again until the next day after work.
I've come to the decision that I need to be home with Ted more. Initially, I asked if I could go part-time at my current job, which would be the best of the scenarios. My supervisor said that if the economic "climate" wasn't where it was, he would be glad to work with me, but if he lets a full-time position go to part-time he's afraid he'll never get another full-time position approved. Which is understandable, so I put in my notice. I figured I'd go home for a few months then look for a job in Greensboro, preferably part-time. As the end of my three week notice approached (December 7th is my final day), I thought that perhaps he could use me PRN or as needed. So I floated that by him and he seemed much more positive about that. It still has to be justified and approved, but hopefully this will be a viable option, especially since there is a PRN position swilling around in our budget that hasn't been filled since the person that held that position went full time. I'm trained and ready so... it seems to make sense. It probably won't be regular hours, but hopefully it'll work out.
I'm happy that I'll be home with the baby more. As good as our childcare situation has been, it just feels wrong to hand him off to someone else for 2/3 of his waking hours (approximately).
One of my posts was recently published on Scary Mommy and a few of the comments made me want to respond, but I didn't want to get into an argument with a faceless opponent on the other side of the ether(net). I would like to comment here though, because if I can't do it in my own blog, where can I?
Nicole says: "I know it’s crazy, but some of us go back to work because we love our jobs and need that outlet. But way to make it sound like every single employed woman who also has a child is just doing it because she can’t afford to stay home."
Nicole: I'm not writing on behalf of all women, everywhere and trying to impose my feelings, experiences or beliefs on anyone. This is my view, from my experiences, written with a heavy dose of sarcasm for a site that quotes, "Scary Mommy is intended for people who have a sense of humor, an appreciation for sarcasm and wear panties that do not easily get in a wad." I do understand that some people love their job and can't wait to get back. I just happen not to be one of those people. Don't get me wrong, I love aspects of my job, but it is a job for me, not a passion. In other words, jump down from your high horse and get it together, mmkay?