Thursday, September 17, 2015

fall and fetuses

Eddie asked me if I wanted to go for a walk this evening.  While the weather this week has been gorgeous, I can't wait until the highs are in the low 70's and the mornings are crisp, the trees explode with fiery colors and it's comfortable to wear a hooded sweatshirt at night.  My answer, however, was no.  Not only can I not walk long distances, it's hard to simply walk through the house.  My hips hurt from pregnancy, which makes walking and standing difficult.  I arrived at BSF on Wednesday and my hips hurt from DRIVING, and I wondered if I'd even be able to walk across the parking lot.

As miserable as this pregnancy has been (think: nausea and vomiting for over 72 hours straight last week and not eating for same), I still think pregnancy is amazing.  I love feeling the baby move and seeing him on ultrasound.  But as amazing as it is, if I can't get cleared by the GI doc telling me that I won't vomit for an entire pregnancy again, then this might be it for us.  At the very least I'm not intending to have a baby next year!

Oliver will be here just in time for the sweet spot of fall.  Hooded sweatshirts and scarves.  Pumpkin spice lattes and jack o' lanterns.  Babies and toddlers, oh my.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

I am just writing to let you know a few things.  First things first.  Your brother (who will love you one day) and I have a routine.  We sleep all night, wake up refreshed and ready to start the day.  We play for a few hours and then he takes a nap.  I might also take a nap, but that's mostly because I'm 33 weeks pregnant and you're sucking out all of my energy.  Then we wake up and have lunch.  We play some more or possibly run some errands.  Then it's time for another nap, which I may or may not partake of.  Dinner time, possibly bath time (depending on the state of your brother's diaper covered area) and then bed.  It's a great routine.  It works.  Now, I know you won't be able to follow this schedule right away and that's not your fault.  It's ok.  We can work on it.  We have time.  I'm just giving you a heads up that this is what will be expected of you, eventually.

Next, you really do have some big shoes to fill.  Not literally because your brother's feet are pretty small.  However, aside from about 3-4 weeks of crying in the evenings, your brother was/is a pretty happy baby.  He slept through the night around 7 weeks old.  He was/is a champion eater.  Just so you don't think I'm bragging on him too much, he does have some faults.  He HATES getting his diaper changed.  It turns into a wrestling match on the changing table and I need about three more hands just to hold him in place and change him.  He also has a bit of a temper sometimes, which is just beginning to show, and a tendency to throw food.  He's not perfect, but overall he's pretty great.  Don't worry.  I don't expect you two to be identical.  But if you could just pick a few of his good qualities and then improve on his bad ones, that would be great.  I don't think that's asking too much.

Now this portion is about me.  I've only been a mom for not even 13 months.  I've never had to take care of two babies before.  I'm not sure how I will handle it, but I can assure you I will try my best.  One might think that since I'm barely out of the baby stage with your brother, it will be easier to slip back into it with you.  And this may be true.  It also may be not true.  The first few months with your brother was kind of a blur of diapers and bottles and Google.  I'm not sure I can remember everything I'm supposed to.  Like I said though, I'll try my best.

Lastly, I want you to know that you will be loved.  I had no idea when I had your brother, just how much I would grow to love him.  I used to worry that I wouldn't have enough left for another kid, but I truly believe that my and your father's heart will just expand to be able to hold and give all the love.  Your brother will love you too, once he stops "sharing" his toys with you (i.e. tossing his trucks into your Rock n' Play).