let's just have lettuce sandwiches

This is just a humorous story that happened the other night.  Eddie calls from work and asks if I wanted tomato sandwiches for dinner.  I reply that I don't like tomato sandwiches, but if you throw some bacon on there, I'm game.  So even though Ed goes right by Food Lion on his way home, I said I would go get the bacon because Teddy was cranky and we needed something to do.  So we head to the Lion and get bread, lettuce, cereal, some random other things and head back home.  It's then I realize I've forgotten the stinking bacon.  So mad!  So I decide that, as it's already 6:20 and Ed will be home soon, I will just wait and then he can stay with Teddy while I run back to the store.  So we wait.  And wait.  And wait.  Finally by 6:50 Ed calls, FROM WORK because his cell phone is at home.  I'm like, "You are NOT just leaving work!!" and he says, "Yeah, well.  I forgot the tomatoes and I had to go back."  I'm fuming because it's just a comedy of errors and I say, "Well you might as well go by Food Lion and get the bacon too, because I forgot it."

breastfeeding may not be for me

I support breastfeeding.  I support breastfeeding mothers.  I support breastfeeding mothers in Target, in Starbucks or out in their car because they like more privacy.  I tried breastfeeding my first child and it didn't go well.  It may have been better if I'd stuck it out, but after nearly a month, neither of us were getting it and it was better for my sanity to switch to formula.  It hurt and I hated, abhorred even, pumping.  I felt like a cow at a milking machine.  Poor cows.

I've debated whether or not to try with my next child.  Maybe it would be easier.  Maybe he'd be a natural and he and I would just get it down, right out of the gate.  Or maybe it would be too much stress on me with a new baby and a small (very small) toddler.  I take medications that may be contraindicated for breastfeeding mothers.  I NEED sleep to function, mentally.  Bottle feeding allows my husband take over some of the night feedings and allows me to sleep longer stretches.  (We had it worked out down to a science with each of us able to get 5-6 hour stretches each night by dividing up the schedule and going to bed at different times).

With formula, I know exactly how much food he is getting.  That was a huge issue for me while trying to breastfeed.  I had no idea how much he was eating - pumping did give me a little more peace of mind, but again - cow.

I have many reasons for not wanting to breastfeed.  I know breast is best for baby.  I also know that by giving formula, I'm feeding my baby, which is the most important thing.

no ten month old, you can't do that!

You’re recently mobile and the world has opened up for you.  Everything is bright and shiny and enticing.  I really can’t blame you for it and I love your curiosity about everything.  I love to watch you stand in the middle of the room, completely free of supporting objects, contemplating whether taking a step would result in forward motion or a plop to the ground.  There are just a few things, ten month old, that I need you to realize.

When you take your plastic truck and bop me on the head or knee or foot with it, it actually hurts.  It’s cute, but no, more it just hurts.  No ten month old, you can’t do that!

That ball that rolls on its own and plays cheerful music and makes animal sounds is incredibly heavy and hurling it as far as you can is not good for it or our floors.  Drop it on your foot and you’ll understand.  No ten month old you can’t do that!

Pulling on the mat on the end table is not a good idea because you’ll pull the lamp down on your head.  Trust me that hurts.  Don't ask me how I know. Same goes for the table cloth.  No ten month old, you can’t do that!

I know that kitty tails look custom designed for you to yank on them.  They look so nice swishing back and forth that the obvious thing to do is grab on and lean back like you’re a champion water skier.  However, it hurts the kitty and will likely result in a scratch or bite.  You won’t like that.  No ten month old, you can’t do that!

Stuffing as much food in your mouth at one time may seem like the easiest and fastest way to devour your food.  I know it’s delicious.  Most likely I made it.  But you’re going to choke and/or I’m going to have to dig in your mouth and pull it all out.  You won’t like it.  No ten month old, you can’t do that!

I know it looks like food, but it’s not.  It’s a leaf/grass/fuzz ball/button/stink bug, etc.   Stop putting things in your mouth.  Especially bugs.  That was disgusting.  No ten month old, you can’t do that!

I know the world is a fascinating place and you’re exploring it without a lick of sense as to what can or will harm you.  It’s my job to keep you safe, mostly from yourself.  But if you would just realize these things, it would make life a lot easier for both of us.  What’s that?  When I became your mom, there was a clause in tiny print?  It read, “Life, as you know it, will never be easy again.”  Well.  I guess I should get better at reading contracts.

**Note:  The writing of this post was interrupted numerous times in order for me to stop my ten month old from doing no less than four of the things on this list.  Most recently I rescued him from having his leg somehow wedged under the baby gate.  This post really wrote itself.

all rights for all

I am so sick of people who are against same sex marriage or homosexuality using the argument that it's a slippery slope to pedophilia, incest or bestiality.  It's not a slippery slope.  It's not even a slope!  It's on a whole other mountain altogether!  Seriously, people.  

Minnesota Vikings player, Josh Robinson used this argument on Twitter:

     "Love is love? So what will we say when the 30yr old loves YOUR 10 year old. When the dad loves HIS 6 year old?? It's different?? Yea okay!" 

This argument is so ridiculous, I can't even. I just can't.

As a society I believe we will NEVER condone such things as pedophilia, incest or bestiality.  Just because we believe in equal rights, doesn't stretch it this far.  I believe in a God of love and am disappointed in many of my friends on my newsfeed, but uplifted by so many others.  Thankfully, there are more of the latter.  

I want my kids to grow up to love all people; for them to be tolerant of all people regardless of race, sexual orientation, religious preferences, etc.  

names, names, names

Ok, I didn't appreciate how difficult naming a baby is until now.  With Teddy as soon as I found out he was a boy, I knew his name because Ed was unwavering in his desire to have a junior and call him Teddy.  I had no input and when I tried to change his mind and name the baby something original (original to him, not something like Origami Cheesecake) I was met with a strong no.  Even though I objected, it really took the pressure off because from that point on, I didn't have to think about it.

Now with boy 2 I have to actually come up with a name.  Had it been a girl, I'd have gone with Charlotte despite the newest princess (I'm not English, what do I care?).  Now, however, I have to decide on something.  The only name I have strong feelings about is Oliver.  Everything else is like, "Eh, it's alright."  The problem is, Ed doesn't like Oliver. I want to be stubborn and say, "I didn't get any naming rights for Teddy, I should be able to get the name I want for new baby."  He came up with a compromise that I am considering, which is Jackson Oliver.  I think Jack Mearns sounds really good.  The problem is I love Oliver as a first name.  (Both Jack and Oliver have also been used recently for friends' babies, but I'm getting over it...)

Other names on my short list have been Samuel, James, and Jacob.  Simon is in there too.

Ok, weigh in.

he's spent as long out as in!

4 months

Teddy is nine months old and has changed so much in the past few months it's insane!  I look at his pictures from our four month family photos and he looks so babyish and round.  He's stretching out and thinning (what there was to thin) out.  He's 17lbs 5oz and 27 3/4 inches long.  He's in the 50th percentile for head size, 25th for height and 15th for weight.  He's a little guy but he's healthy and happy so that's great!

He's been eating finger foods now that he can feed himself.  I started off introducing new foods to him slowly around 4 months and now that he has about 30 or so foods under his belt, I figure all bets are off and he eats pretty much anything that won't choke him.

He started crawling at 6 months and pretty much just took off.  He started pulling up a few weeks after that and now he cruises along furniture and can stand for a few seconds (only if I let go, he doesn't do it much on his own).  He also does a controlled squat to the ground instead of the plop or the ever-hilarious side split until his butt reaches the ground.

He's started playing "How Big is Teddy?" and about 20% of the time will put his hands over his head.  He started giving us toys and we say and sign, 'thank you,' when he does.  We're working on signs for more, mama, dada, and thank you as well as the D for Uncle D.  (Really, Uncle D is the only one that signs that to him!)

He's a very cheerful baby, who always knows how to smile for a picture and sleeps incredibly well.  In fact, I almost don't want to say it because it might jinx us, but for the past couple of days he's slept in until 9am!  This mama is very appreciative of that!

no smile for this pic though

one of those days...

When you have days where absolutely everything goes wrong, all you can really do is laugh about it.  Today I needed to go to Target to get a gift for my niece's birthday.  In addition to this, Eddie and I were going to switch out cars because he needed to put D-rings on the bumper of my car so he can strap his canoe to it.  Ed's idea (and it was a good one) was for me to bring him a sandwich and the D-rings while I was out so he could quickly eat and work on my jeep during lunch.  Good plan, right?  Wrong.

First, I couldn't find the D-rings.  If you know Ed, lost items are very commonplace, so I didn't hold out much hope that I would find them.  However, I had a brainstorm and realized that perhaps he had them by the ratchet straps he'd purchased to secure said canoe to the jeep.  Lo and behold, there they were!  So I made two sandwiches, stuck a string cheese in a bag along with the D-rings and readied myself and Teddy to go to Target.

I went to the Target on Battleground specifically because it was closer to Ed's work.  I pulled into the parking lot and realized...  I left the bag of supplies on the counter at home.  I shook my head and thought, 'This trip was doomed from the start...'  Little did I know it wasn't over.

Finally in Target, I tried to find a dry cart to stick the little bear in whilst shopping because he's getting heavy.  No dry carts to be found, so I carried him to the accessories department thinking, 'I'm just getting one thing... I can lug him around.'  That is until I smelled it.  The dreaded surprise in his diaper.  I was 80% certain I had diapers in the car, but 100% certain there were no wipes.  I went back prepared to beg someone for a dry cart but thankfully it didn't come to that.  A man was leaving with one bag and kindly gave me his cart.

I rushed deep into the store to find the infant/toddler section, grabbed diapers (wasn't willing to risk the 80% chance) and wipes, then headed over to the junior's section to pick out something for my niece (I wasn't leaving without the main reason I went).  While perusing the cardigans, I looked over to see the little bear turned around backwards, standing and leaning into the cart to reach my purse. I panicked with thoughts of him tumbling head first into the cart, I spun him around and sat him down only to have him try it again.  I tightened the straps so that I wasn't completely sure he could take a deep breath, but at least he wouldn't stand up!

I finally purchased my items and headed into the bathroom with the shopping cart.  I wedged it against the wall and started to pull down the koala care changing station when the little bear started crying,  For a moment I thought he was crying at the idea of getting his diaper changed, but how could he know that was what was happening since he'd been changed on one approximately once in his life?  Then I realized that his little finger was pinched between the cart and the wall, and I. Felt. Horrible.

Once he was consoled and changed we dejectedly headed home.  I called Ed to tell him just to come home, it was all for naught.  But on the bright side, his lunch was already made so he didn't have to do that when he got home...  right?  WROOOOOOOOOOOOONG.  I walked in the door and greeted Bailey, known surfer of counters.  I saw a string cheese on the floor still in it's wrapper.  I thought, 'Huh.  Weird.  WAIT.'  The bag with Ed's lunch and the D-rings was on the floor and Bailey had devoured both sandwiches.  She left the D-rings untouched and I presume, given enough time, she would have gotten the string cheese open through sheer force of will even though she doesn't have thumbs.

I was so flabbergasted that this day had been so ridiculous and so furious with Bailey even though I share some of the blame.  Bailey is in bed right now, and I'm not sure when she'll be able to come out without me placing an ad on Craigslist for a free goldendoodle.

It was such a comedy of errors, all you can do is laugh...