Tuesday, June 17, 2014

mothers and fathers

In 2013 I was informed via the many forums I frequented, titled Trying to Conceive After a Loss (TCAL) or Trying to Get Pregnant (TTGP) and various others, that Mother's Day was something that I should feel some certain way about.  Honestly, that year, despite the two miscarriages I'd already had, the day didn't bother me so much.  I wasn't a mother.  I wanted to be, but I wasn't yet.  I had a mother and a mother-in-law and the day was mostly about them.  So I didn't really understand what all the fuss was about, people warning us to avoid Facebook that day for all the Mother's Day posts and calling people out for being insensitive to those who've experienced losses.  I guess I could see where they were coming from, but for me it was just another day.

This year some might argue that I am already a mother, I just haven't met my baby yet.  I didn't expect anyone to make any big deal about Mother's Day for me, but Ed did leave me a rose from our rosebush outside
 and a note from Ted saying, "Happy Mother's Day!"  It was nice and not too much.  Just right, really.

For Father's Day this year, I wanted to acknowledge Eddie in some way.  I spent some time making a card with an original drawing.  I am not an artist in any way, shape or form, but I came up with (after 4 tries) what I thought was an acceptable drawing.  Of course, when I showed it to someone at work and said, "I'm not very good at drawing," the guy I was talking to said, "No, you're not."  But whatever.  I thought Ed would appreciate the effort and that I didn't just ask my coworker, Lauren (who is an amazing artist) to do it for me!

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