Saturday, February 22, 2014

jumping off a high dive? break dancing? what, exactly, is going on in there?

The other day I was sitting at work and I reached for something and suddenly felt like my uterus had fallen off a cliff.  Since as far as I could tell, it was still lodged in my abdomen, I can only surmise that the baby had perfected it's double gainer from the high dive.  Then the next day I felt incredibly sick to my stomach and was lying in bed.  As I was highly attuned to what was happening in my abdomen, I'm pretty sure the baby had started break dancing.  I tried to warn him/her to settle down or I was going to lose that nice lunch full of lovely nutrients I'd eaten with him/her in mind.  (S)he didn't listen.

From what I can gather, the baby has a fair amount of room to move around in there and that space is only going to get tighter from here on, like real estate in a large city.  My advice, baby, is to enjoy it while it lasts because pretty soon you're going to be squished like sardines in a can.  Or at least one giant sardine in a uterus-shaped can.

In other news, in a fit of domesticity, I purchased material to make curtains and a crib skirt, never mind that I do not own a sewing machine, nor would I know how to use one.  My friend, Laurie, said she would help me make the fabric curtain-shaped, which is pretty exciting.

Also in eleven days we get to find out if we're having a boy or girl!  I reminded Ed of this fact last night and he was like, "Then it will be real!  Of course it's probably been real for you since you've been puking in the toilet every day." I assured him that, yes, it is quite real to me, especially since our baby has developed these mad break dancing skills.  So You Think You Can Dance, year 2032?

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