when will I grow up?

I've never been much of a housekeeper.  At home I'm unorganized and messy.  At work I'm super organized and efficient, but somehow I can't seem to translate those skills into the home setting.  I thought once upon a time that maybe when I got married I'd turn into Martha Stewart and my home would be a thing of beauty that people would love to visit and even have a place to sit down that wasn't covered in clean laundry and unopened mail.  The reality was that I married a man less organized in the home than I, resulting in an extra person's clean laundry and unopened mail, not to mention dishes, shoes, and things he pulls out of his pockets at the end of the day.  (Why is there so much in there?  The crumpled receipts, pens and scrap paper should be at the bottom of a bag/purse where they belong.)

Next I thought that perhaps having a child will force me to keep a more organized house and do laundry more than every other week.  Bringing home a baby caused a lot of changes, but I'm here to tell you housekeeping wasn't one of them.  I do more laundry because baby pukes a lot and those cute Bumgeniuses don't keep EVERYTHING in all the time (nor do Pampers, but they are a little better).  The result of Teddy being here is that I wash a lot of bottles and do a lot of baby laundry, but I still consider it a major accomplishment if all the adult laundry in the house is washed and dried and PUT AWAY.  The fact that I consider this a such major accomplishment serves to show how rarely each of those caveats is met.  I can wash laundry.  I can dry it.  The hang up is getting it from the dryer to the drawers and closets.

In addition to laundry there is so much clutter.  I blame the US postal service and the invention of online bill pay.  Because I pay everything online, I have no impetus to open and dispose of the mail.  It piles up and creates the clutter.  The piles get bigger and get shoved somewhere without being opened.  If you add all this mail to the regular clutter generated by a family and no one actually cleans it up, it increases at an alarming rate.

I haven't even touched on the kitchen.  I have forced myself to be cleaner in the kitchen because I hate cooking in a dirty kitchen and cooking in some form or fashion must be performed daily.  (Microwaving Ramen, Lean Cuisine or Chef Boyardee counts as cooking in a pinch.)   The dishes get washed on a regular basis even if the kitchen isn't completely pristine before bedtime every night.   It's just such a cycle.  If the environment and money wasn't a consideration, I'd be all for paper/plastic ware for everything possible.

In summation, I don't know when I'll ever be a good housekeeper.  It may never happen.  However, the final load of adult laundry is in a pile on the bed just waiting for me to put it away.  I will have done it.  I will be accomplished in something.  But I sit here writing about it instead of actually doing
it.  And Facebook hasn't been checked in at least thirty minutes...

**Aside:  This has no reflection on my upbringing as I was forced to keep a clean room and do chores while I was growing up.  Maybe this is my fifteen year rebellion against that...

Five months! a progress report...

Ted has reached five months as of yesterday and with it comes a few new firsts.  First Christmas, first horrifying viral rash, first solid foods.  So far we've used the baby bullet to make sweet potatoes, squash, carrots, apples, bananas, pears and then store bought peas and green beans.  He's liked everything so far, but I did find that if I gave him, say, pears and carrots and I didn't make him eat the carrots first, he wasn't too thrilled with them.  Now we have our vegetables before the fruit.  I plan to get some more foods to make soon, possibly spinach.  Some foods are easier to make in the bullet than others - for instance, I do not like peeling apples.  He also had a reaction to bananas, so we'll hold off on those for a while and try again later.

As for the first Christmas, Teddy received a lot of great gifts and, although he wasn't really aware of what was going on, he was sure excited about it.  We made salt dough ornaments of Teddy's feet (though they aren't complete yet) to give to his grandparents for Christmas.  We spent a lot of time with family, both sides, and we'll see Aunt Stef hopefully this weekend!

Now for the viral rash.  We still aren't sure what it was.  I consulted with our lab director who is also an infectious disease specialist and she believes it was an enterovirus (of which family coxsackie virus belongs).  He never got a fever and always acted perfectly happy, ate well, and slept normally so we weren't terribly worried.  This, of course, was until we saw his pediatrician for a second time and he was really concerned.  He was afraid it was caused by a herpes virus and because of his eczema it spread everywhere.  He told us the herpes virus is pretty much the only virus that could get really bad so he treated him with acyclovir, just in case.  He wanted to see us the very next morning to make sure Teddy was doing ok.  Herpes viruses can cause meningitis, so I knew enough to be pretty freaked out.  He was fine, though and tolerated the acyclovir well.  Our lab director doesn't believe it was caused by a herpes virus, however, since Teddy never became febrile and the rash never really seemed to bother him.  As of now, his last day on medication, his rash is slowly disappearing.  I think within the next few days it will go away completely.

Teddy is rolling front to back and back to front pretty well.  He's awkwardly mobile.  He tries to get his knees under him but they slide back out.  I feel in the next month he'll probably get better at that.  His push-ups are getting stronger; he's able to lift his whole chest off the ground.  He tolerates tummy time more and can jump in his jumper (with a pillow under his feet - he's still a little short).

I feel like we're entering a fun phase with Teddy.  Once he's mobile, some of his frustrations will disappear.  He's a generally happy baby and loves to laugh.  He's a great night sleeper and we're working on napping routines.  Overall, we're doing really well!

sweet potatoes anyone?

just hangin' out in my vintage Christmas outfit!

what's up?

poor baby!

Five months!

i had no idea

When we first started trying to get pregnant back in 2012, I think I was doing it because it's the next step.  I like kids.  I want kids.  We're married.  Let's go.  I was 30 and my dreams of being a young mother were in the past, but we'd better get cracking or I might be having my first child past that magical age, 35, when they make you sign forms and submit to or refuse extra prenatal screening.  The first miscarriage I had was devastating; the second and third were also.  But if I had known how much I would love my baby, I wouldn't have been able to survive those miscarriages.

I had no idea how much I would love him.  Sometimes I worry that I'll squeeze him too tight.  When he got sick (or at least broke out in this horrific rash) and the doctor was worried enough to want to see him the next day (and not charge us for it), I felt so worried and helpless.  Of course, it did help that Teddy was smiley and not feverish.  I shudder to think what it will be like when he's really sick.

When he makes his "cry" face and his lip quivers and curls, I melt.  (This will probably get me in trouble later.)  When he smiles his gummy smile, I light up (inside).  His giggle could stop wars.  He is so sweet, and I can't wait to see what kind of kid he turns out to be.